Checking in once again

God darn it, I'm not doing what I said I was gonna do. Okay I'll give you the short version of the last year that I haven't been writing: I was off my pills for quite some time. I was okay for a while, then I wasn't. I had a tough winter. The usual shit: got behind on bills, everybody got pissy. Especially the landlord. I did, however, get that freelance web design project completed. In my discombobulated state of mind I did take my time a bit much, but my client was pleased with the result. I talked around a bit on OKCupid.com. A few nibbles. Eh. I got further behind when I got a stupid parking ticket and a towaway. I then lost the fucking car when the bank decided they'd had enough of me and repossessed. I was dismayed to learn that my PC is once again kaputt, so no more recording for a while. Amazingly enough, things actually started getting a bit better at this point. I decided to get back on my pills, and also to start my sleep apnea treatment again. I thusly felt better. Although the usual SSRI caveats apply, as in "I'm not half the man I used to be..." I found that not only can I mostly get around just fine without a car, but I'm actually spending less, and I'm generally getting to work on time. Two more birds kick the bucket. I met a very nice young lady on OkCupid. She and I clicked fairly nicely. We've hung out several times, including twice so far in New York. Two more birds knocked out of the sky. I ALSO!!! took a week-long trip to the West Coast to rejoin Floorian for a mini tour, so after four or five years of inactivity I played music in front of a crowd again. It was AMAZING. Did some poetry writing, some drawing, in a little yellow steno notebook. On the whole, things are looking up a bit. I can see the horizon now at least, instead of the few inches of asphalt under my chin. Next step is to get my knees planted, one after the other, and then the feet--one, two. Then L-I-F-T. I will STAND. Keep at it. The strength is pooling in my core, slowly, like trickling honey. I must keep the tap running. But I will not run, will not run away--I mustn't!