lesson learned

I formally quit smoking two years ago.

Since then, I've smoked a number of times. I did earlier tonight.

This is wrong and disgusting, but not as much as this: I've maintained that I haven't, even when asked point-blank. In other words, I've lied.

Being a liar is worse than being a smoker. Smoking just destroys your voice and lungs as it slowly kills you; lying destroys your credibility without taking a single minute off your life expectancy, so you get to live with your shame that much longer. Unless someone decides to get even by putting a few slugs through your crop.

So I've resolved never to do either again; and if I fail and smoke, I will not lie about it, but rather be straightforward and tell the truth. And on the outside chance that something--anything--might compel me to be dishonest, I will confess that too.

This smoking thing is an exception. I suppose I reacted like a three year old with his hand in the mayonnaise jar--I was afraid of punishment. But I realize now that the punishment for lying is much more severe and long-lasting. I'm being honest from now on. I promise.

I have a very special person to thank for setting me straight. She knows who she is. I love her very much.